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In the mid-16th century, Nostradamus made 942 predictions in eight years.
He did Supposedly Each one dictated a poem to his secretary. All while hallucinating with heroic doses of nutmeg.
Unfortunately I don't have a secretary but why should that stop me?
Here are five crypto prophecies that will come true in 2025. If not, they could easily be repeated for hundreds of years, just like Nostradamus' prophecy.
- AI-powered chatbots will play flash loan attacks.
We rarely hear about it Flash loan attacks anymore.
Apparently, the US Department of Justice Pretty much put an end to them after they arrested Avi “It's just a profitable trading strategy” Eisenberg last year.
That is, until a demonic leader trains an AI model to hunt the illiquid corners of DeFi for potential targets.
After all, who is to blame: the instant engineer or the MBA with a cryptocurrency wallet?
- The Bitcoin ETF or the nation state will be hacked
Not to mention, most ETFs have taken the actual handling of coins out of their own hands – presumably replacing it with a WhatsApp chat with a Coinbase Custody support representative.
Next year will see the return of massive cryptocurrency hacks.
It's been a really long time since we've seen one. The Ronin breakthrough was probably the last breakthrough that was truly painful.
Be on the lookout for a nation-state or ETF issuer to dig into your bag, perhaps by falling for a North Korean phishing message for a phony Chick-fil-A coupon.
- The FTC will sue memecoin
You've probably heard that the next SEC chairman should be more crypto-friendly.
But that's just the SEC. There are still more than a dozen US agencies that could still potentially attract some real baby boomer action next year.
Enter the Federal Trade Commission. They have gone after cryptocurrency companies in the past, including Celsius and Voyager, and have also pushed federal cases against scammers promoting bogus investment schemes.
I've been waiting for the FTC to label random memecoin as such and start filing a lawsuit. Gensler leaves a void that only another myopic regulator can fill.
- Cryptocurrency lotteries will emerge as public goods
Crypto already has its own pseudo-lottery systems: memecoins.
If you're really interested in buying Powerball and Mega Millions, why not buy memecoin Pump.fun randomly every week and hope to hit it big one day (as long as you can get to the top).
So, it's time someone - perhaps from the public-good-focused Ethereum space - programmed an unstoppable, once-a-week cryptocurrency lottery.
And before you suggest that random number generators on blockchain are always a bad idea, Study of lava lamps.
- IRL streamers will rely on prediction markets
The implication that streamers like Speed and KSI will be minting their own meme coins (or will they be social tokens?) is pretty obvious.
Call it now: A major streamer will figure out how to leverage prediction markets to crowdsource their content.
Example: speed suggestion That he will run the sprints at the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles could be a market prediction. All his viewers can bet on whether or not that is the case, or push him towards any other challenge for that matter.
Mass adoption across Twitch begins in 2025.
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